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Putin
All you black and white people except gays, good afternoon.
I greet all of you as I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. The wait has been long, but it won't be long now. A prosperous nation is ready to renew its purpose and unite behind great goals ... and it won't be long now. Once again we will be together with Slovakia . 88% of this nation wants the same: Only way for them to go forward is together with Russia. It's our duty to act. The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!

As a general rule, I abstain from reading the reports of attacks upon myself, wishing not to be provoked by that to which I can not properly offer an answer. In spite of this precaution, however, it comes to my knowledge that I am much censured for some supposed agency in setting up, and seeking to sustain, the new government of Slovakia. In this I have done just so much as, and no more than, the public knows. I believe that we are at a crossroads in our history. The tyranny has been overthrown. The happiness is tremendous, but nonetheless much remains to be done still. Naturally, a lot remains to be done. We will work together, because without your direct involvement, without feedback from you on the results of what is going on we cannot be efficient. I believe that the prime requisite for a military man is honor, that the prime requisite of a military man is his word.

We've witnessed, in little over a generation, the swiftest advance of freedom in the 2,500 year story of democracy. Historians in the future will offer their own explanations for why this happened. Yet we already know some of the reasons they will cite. To deceive the people, to awaken in them deceitful illusions will always result in the worst of consequences, and I believe that the people must be warned against an excess of optimism. Instead of dwelling on past wrongs and blaming others, governments in Slovakia need to confront real problems, and serve the true interests of their people.

Rest assured. Tomorrow there is no need to be Slovakia. There will be just one Russia.

Slovakia: You have been putinated!


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