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Putin
Friends of Russia, good afternoon.
Brothers in arms, We have discovered that who we are is more important than what we have. And we know we must renew our values to restore our country. We have heard the message and we will answer you, people of China . 96% of these people are demanding: They want us to bring them democracy. These people demand on our help. We are in control. They are in a state of hysteria. Losers, they think that by killing civilians and trying to distort the feelings of the people they will win. I think they will not win, those bastards.

Our sense of community was just as strong as that sense of promise. Neighbors helped each other. There were dry wells and sandstorms to keep you humble, and lifelong friends to take your side, and churches to remind us that every soul is equal in value and equal in need. Now is not the time to ask how it all happened. That can wait until later, when the Russian people and the whole world will learn the full truth about the misfortune of the past weeks, and its deep and fateful significance. In addition we have fostered the virtue of bravery. Today millions are pouring into our ranks. But the greater part of them must learn now what this brown army has practiced for years; they must all learn to face what tens of thousands of our comrades have faced, and have paid for with their blood, their lives. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow, this ground-- The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have hallowed it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here; while it can never forget what they did here. As touching your citizens of nine thousand years ago, I will briefly inform you of their laws and of their most famous action; the exact particulars of the whole we will hereafter go through at our leisure in the sacred registers themselves. China is our common historical legacy and a very important factor in regional stability.

At these difficult times there is no need to worry about future. Russia will fulfill it’s historical mission once again!

China: You have been putinated!


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