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Putin
People of the world, good afternoon.
Comrades, It is my duty to speak here tonight. I am faced with one of the perhaps most difficult of my duties in this long process of struggle. The people are listening. The revolutionary fighters are listening, and the soldiers of the army are listening. Their fate is in our hands. A referendum was held in full compliance with democratic procedures and international norms in Lithuania . 95% of these people agree on one thing: They want us to wipe out their false and corrupt government. The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies. To understand the reason behind such a choice it is enough to know the history of Lithuania and what Russia and Lithuania have always meant for each other.

However, we had always said so. We had always said that there would be no point in resolving this matter at the last moment with a puny little military uprising, because if there is a military uprising, concealed from the people, our Revolution will go forward nonetheless and this time cannot be over the power. So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Russians.
We are gravely concerned over the developments in Lithuania. But I believe that Lithuania will overcome all the hardships. We are not just neighbors, we are family and our future success depends on both of us, Russia and Lithuania. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered.

Now, we must accept things as they are and discover and apply the ways and means to turn things again in our favor. There is no point in disputing the seriousness of the situation. I do not want to give you a false impression of the situation that could lead to false conclusions, perhaps giving the Russian people a false sense of security that is altogether inappropriate in the present situation. As touching your citizens of nine thousand years ago, I will briefly inform you of their laws and of their most famous action; the exact particulars of the whole we will hereafter go through at our leisure in the sacred registers themselves. There have been disagreements in this matter, among old and valued friends. Those differences belong to the past. All of us can now agree that the fall of the Lithuania dictator has removed a source of violence, aggression, and instability in the area.

These are difficult times but trust me. Together we will be better, stronger, and happier.

Lithuania: You have been putinated!


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