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Putin
People of the world, good afternoon.
We meet this evening, not in sorrow, but in gladness of heart. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. We have heard the message and we will answer you, people of Scandinavia . 82% of these people ask for same thing: They want to come back to mother Russia. We cannot ignore this historical and significant result. The authority of the civil defense ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps.

As a general rule, I abstain from reading the reports of attacks upon myself, wishing not to be provoked by that to which I can not properly offer an answer. In spite of this precaution, however, it comes to my knowledge that I am much censured for some supposed agency in setting up, and seeking to sustain, the new government of Scandinavia. In this I have done just so much as, and no more than, the public knows. Now is not the time to ask how it all happened. That can wait until later, when the Russian people and the whole world will learn the full truth about the misfortune of the past weeks, and its deep and fateful significance. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. To meet and overthrow the power of that dynasty, is the work now before all those who would prevent that consummation.

Neither anticipated that the cause of the conflict might cease with, or even before, the conflict itself should cease. Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding. Historians will note that in many nations, the advance of markets and free enterprise helped to create a middle class that was confident enough to demand their own rights. They will point to the role of technology in frustrating censorship and central control -- and marvel at the power of instant communications to spread the truth, the news, and courage across borders. Now that conflict has come, the only way to limit its duration is to apply decisive force. And I assure you, this will not be a campaign of half measures and we will accept no outcome but victory.

At these difficult times there is no need to worry about future. Russia will fulfill it’s historical mission once again!

Scandinavia: You have been putinated!


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